hikkikomori
always quiet
- Jun 16, 2023
- 1,675
so I never had much of a social life ever in my 22 years of living,
I don’t socialize irl unless I have to. talking takes a shit ton of effort and its a painful experience.
I like living in my own world.
before though it was excruciating. I saw normies have a great time while I was forced to rot in isolation. even if I wanted to try and fit in with the normies and have a good time, my own nature would work against me.
I always end up being the fucking spectator with nothing to say, it’s like I’m a fucking alien forced to watch and observe how humans interact with each other. listening to them talk and be loud was annoying, and every attempt to participate was met with me being ignored or not having been heard in the first place. being outside and listening to them talk drains my energy as well.
being the fucking quiet observant guy while everyone else is talking and vibing and having rapid fire conversations. I couldnt get a word in even if I wanted. getting NT mogged is so brutal. these retards think it’s social anxiety but it isn’t.
but since then I’ve developed strong hobbies that make my isolation enjoyable, to the point where I don’t even care about not being NT. i just want my neetbux so I can live in solitude, unconcerned with the affairs of the material world well I set my eyes toward the divine.
isolation always felt like bliss, while socializing felt arduous. And yet standing outside looking into the lives of the normies, I began to feel that the normies social experiences and highs were potentially greater than any pleasure I experienced being isolated and away from them, I began to envy them, their bonds and connections, and most of all their spontaneity.
I witnessed that happiness first hand, when I sat there at the end of the table, quiet as ever, watching them interact and feast upon their pizza. I gazed upon their smiles and laughter as they sung along to the song Take on Me. I was an audience member of the movie human interaction. My neurodivergence was glaringly obvious. I was so uncomfortable. I was angry.
after that experience, I swore to never make an attempt to fit in with any god damn social group or ever socialize and make and maintain friends ever again. it’s always the same god damn outcome.
my psychological nature forces me into isolation. i don’t know about the rest of you, but I‘ll always be a lone wolf. There are too many intricacies to social interactions which is why I’ll never seek out a social life.
I don’t socialize irl unless I have to. talking takes a shit ton of effort and its a painful experience.
I like living in my own world.
before though it was excruciating. I saw normies have a great time while I was forced to rot in isolation. even if I wanted to try and fit in with the normies and have a good time, my own nature would work against me.
I always end up being the fucking spectator with nothing to say, it’s like I’m a fucking alien forced to watch and observe how humans interact with each other. listening to them talk and be loud was annoying, and every attempt to participate was met with me being ignored or not having been heard in the first place. being outside and listening to them talk drains my energy as well.
being the fucking quiet observant guy while everyone else is talking and vibing and having rapid fire conversations. I couldnt get a word in even if I wanted. getting NT mogged is so brutal. these retards think it’s social anxiety but it isn’t.
but since then I’ve developed strong hobbies that make my isolation enjoyable, to the point where I don’t even care about not being NT. i just want my neetbux so I can live in solitude, unconcerned with the affairs of the material world well I set my eyes toward the divine.
isolation always felt like bliss, while socializing felt arduous. And yet standing outside looking into the lives of the normies, I began to feel that the normies social experiences and highs were potentially greater than any pleasure I experienced being isolated and away from them, I began to envy them, their bonds and connections, and most of all their spontaneity.
I witnessed that happiness first hand, when I sat there at the end of the table, quiet as ever, watching them interact and feast upon their pizza. I gazed upon their smiles and laughter as they sung along to the song Take on Me. I was an audience member of the movie human interaction. My neurodivergence was glaringly obvious. I was so uncomfortable. I was angry.
after that experience, I swore to never make an attempt to fit in with any god damn social group or ever socialize and make and maintain friends ever again. it’s always the same god damn outcome.
my psychological nature forces me into isolation. i don’t know about the rest of you, but I‘ll always be a lone wolf. There are too many intricacies to social interactions which is why I’ll never seek out a social life.
