WormyHell
NEET
- Apr 10, 2022
- 20
When I was 18 I fried my brain on dissociative combinations of drugs. That is a whole topic but its not the point. After this I felt like a ghost for a few years. I lost the ability to feel any deep positive emotions. Music was pointless, love was an alien concept, games were just work, and each day I just passed however I could to hopefully heal over time. I dont think I’ve ever fully recovered.
Im trying again to see if I can help it. I quit kratom a week ago, Im stopping smoking and drinking today, then I’ll quit weed when I dont need it to deal with withdrawal. Then I can exercise and meditate and fix my diet, cold showers, all that good stuff. But what if thats not the problem? What if it isnt just my addictions but they themselves are compensating for something else?
What if I am just a huge loser and that means my brain can never be healthy? Can an unemployed 26 year old virgin living with his parents enjoy a good book? It is hard to believe I could recover to the point I could feel the magic again. Is this relatable to any of you? Do you think it is biologically or psychologically driven?
Im trying again to see if I can help it. I quit kratom a week ago, Im stopping smoking and drinking today, then I’ll quit weed when I dont need it to deal with withdrawal. Then I can exercise and meditate and fix my diet, cold showers, all that good stuff. But what if thats not the problem? What if it isnt just my addictions but they themselves are compensating for something else?
What if I am just a huge loser and that means my brain can never be healthy? Can an unemployed 26 year old virgin living with his parents enjoy a good book? It is hard to believe I could recover to the point I could feel the magic again. Is this relatable to any of you? Do you think it is biologically or psychologically driven?