Serious Tips on dealing with welfare staff?

[CelticKHV]

I have my welfare phone call tomorrow and I am starting to despise the woman who calls me. Last time she was quite sharp with me because I had the wrong phone number on my account by mistake.

She knows I am a mentally ill fuck yet she still hounds me and always remind me that "you've been on welfare since 2019", yes and you should be thankful because if it wasn't for men like me on welfare you wouldn't have such a comfy office job.

The worst part is when she asks "Have you had any interviews", what an awkward moment, every phone call in 20 months I've said "No not yet". I don't apply for jobs but I tell her I apply for 5 jobs a month.

 

[Lain]

I have my welfare phone call tomorrow and I am starting to despise the woman who calls me. Last time she was quite sharp with me because I had the wrong phone number on my account by mistake.

She knows I am a mentally ill fuck yet she still hounds me and always remind me that "you've been on welfare since 2019", yes and you should be thankful because if it wasn't for men like me on welfare you wouldn't have such a comfy office job.

The worst part is when she asks "Have you had any interviews", what an awkward moment, every phone call in 20 months I've said "No not yet". I don't apply for jobs but I tell her I apply for 5 jobs a month.

Yell about brain parasites to throw her off mentally after saying McDonald's denied you for being retarded and hang up immediately, that'll stop them for the next year trust me bro I'm an expert you can't play by the normal rules

 

[Fabio]

Yell about brain parasites to throw her off mentally

Off-topic, but what are your thoughts on the parasite question? https://de.catbox.moe/9rbtxh.pdf

 

[anon1822]

I wish there was welfare in my country lol. Here you could miss 2 arms and 2 legs and you'd at best get a few bucks. Other than that, not even during covid did they give the people anything. So many businesses closed, but they dgaf. They're only good for collecting tax.

 

[Lain]

Instead of finding these conversations painful, make it a comedy. When I went in to apply for neetbux, I put on an act like a Hollywood star. The guy had a noise machine in the hall, I pretended to beta walk over and turn it off, he asked me why and I said the demons were communicating with me through it. He looked so frightened, like oh my god, this is the 4chan man they talk about on the news. Then we're chatting it up and he's asking me basic math questions and I'm staring at his wives tits in the background (some photos on the wall) and he asks me again the math question and I just mumble some random number without thinking and he looks visibly concerned, like this man is mentally retarded. The government workers haven't talked to me ever since, they give me my check monthly and stay a safe distance away. You gotta sound unhinged my nigger, none of this yes sir no sir stuff

Off-topic, but what are your thoughts on the parasite question? https://de.catbox.moe/9rbtxh.pdf

sending .pdfs in this modern day internet climate is like an Italian mobster walking out of a hotel and getting shot down you think I can trust this link, it might wipe my HDD while popping up command prompts calling me a faggit for all I know

 

[CelticKHV]

I wish there was welfare in my country lol. Here you could miss 2 arms and 2 legs and you'd at best get a few bucks. Other than that, not even during covid did they give the people anything. So many businesses closed, but they dgaf. They're only good for collecting tax.

In my country they gave a bonus for welfare people for 8 months. Now they stopped that which is why I have very little free money now.

 

[CelticKHV]

Instead of finding these conversations painful, make it a comedy. When I went in to apply for neetbux, I put on an act like a Hollywood star. The guy had a noise machine in the hall, I pretended to beta walk over and turn it off, he asked me why and I said the demons were communicating with me through it. He looked so frightened, like oh my god, this is the 4chan man they talk about on the news. Then we're chatting it up and he's asking me basic math questions and I'm staring at his wives tits in the background (some photos on the wall) and he asks me again the math question and I just mumble some random number without thinking and he looks visibly concerned, like this man is mentally retarded. The government workers haven't talked to me ever since, they give me my check monthly and stay a safe distance away. You gotta sound unhinged my nigger, none of this yes sir no sir stuff

sending .pdfs in this modern day internet climate is like an Italian mobster walking out of a hotel and getting shot down you think I can trust this link, it might wipe my HDD while popping up command prompts calling me a faggit for all I know

They would report me to the police and force a mental health assessment on me. 3 years ago a man reported me for potential welfare fraud because I told him "I didn't want to work but I was willing to work". Welfare officers sent me a letter and wanted to inspect my address for some reason. Nothing ever came of it because I started a job the same month and signed off welfare.

 

[Rebbington]

Just kill them

 

[Fabio]

Just kill them

Welcome back

 

[Rebbington]

Welcome back

View attachment 26304

cheers

 

[DreamSequence]

Get diagnosed with some retard shit, worked for me.
They did a check to see if I was suitable for work, I just exaggerated everything and rocked back and forth and shit.
I call the doc every 3 months to get a fitnote and then report it to the job center and I'm good.

 

[Billy]

I have my welfare phone call tomorrow and I am starting to despise the woman who calls me. Last time she was quite sharp with me because I had the wrong phone number on my account by mistake.

She knows I am a mentally ill fuck yet she still hounds me and always remind me that "you've been on welfare since 2019", yes and you should be thankful because if it wasn't for men like me on welfare you wouldn't have such a comfy office job.

The worst part is when she asks "Have you had any interviews", what an awkward moment, every phone call in 20 months I've said "No not yet". I don't apply for jobs but I tell her I apply for 5 jobs a month.

What country

 

[SoupaSilva]

Don't answer the phone or even better, get rid of your phone

 

[DreamSequence]

Don't answer the phone or even better, get rid of your phone

Another huge boon in getting diagnosed with sperg disease, they allow for lots of eccentricities, such as me not answering phonecalls.
They put shit online if they wanna contact me, it's bliss. Oh, there is also the possibility of more money after a evaluation they pull you in for - retards only of course.

 

[DreamSequence]

What country

I'm fairly certain he's Irish

 

[SoupaSilva]

Another huge boon in getting diagnosed with sperg disease, they allow for lots of eccentricities, such as me not answering phonecalls.
They put shit online if they wanna contact me, it's bliss. Oh, there is also the possibility of more money after a evaluation they pull you in for - retards only of course.

Lucky you're a tard then but I don't have any health conditions. l don't have a phone and forgot my password for the online thing (they made me make a new email address since my first attempt at getting a claim got messed up and apparently they couldn't redo it with that email) but I still get money for some reason. Northern Ireland he's from as far as I'm aware.

 

[DreamSequence]

Lucky you're a tard then but I don't have any health conditions. l don't have a phone and forgot my password for the online thing (they made me make a new email address since my first attempt at getting a claim got messed up and apparently they couldn't redo it with that email) but I still get money for some reason. Northern Ireland he's from as far as I'm aware.

The process of getting diagnosed with these things is laughably easy, you are given a questionnaire in which the answers for spergdom are obvious, following that you do a second questionnaire but this time with a licensed psychiatrist, out of the gay satanic DSM-5. That's literally it, two questionnaires, psychiatry is a fucking gay larp I swear to the Lord above.
They ask for you to bring someone who knows you along to question about you at a younger age but its not a requirement if you can't get anyone. Basically you just have to perform for an hour, or possibly not even if the doctor you go to is not doing in-person consultations yet because of the meme virus.

 

[SoupaSilva]

The process of getting diagnosed with these things is laughably easy, you are given a questionnaire in which the answers for spergdom are obvious, following that you do a second questionnaire but this time with a licensed psychiatrist, out of the gay satanic DSM-5. That's literally it, two questionnaires, psychiatry is a fucking gay larp I swear to the Lord above.
They ask for you to bring someone who knows you along to question about you at a younger age but its not a requirement if you can't get anyone. Basically you just have to perform for an hour, or possibly not even if the doctor you go to is not doing in-person consultations yet because of the meme virus.

I don't like speaking to doctors unless I have to or feel that I may be at risk of being deformed. Last time I went to the doctors was when I broke my finger idek why I bothered since it still healed dodgy and they did literally nothing now I've got a gimped finger that looks weird and won't close properly. Hopefully it develops into arthritis in a few years getting some free codeines would make the trip worth it. No idea how good my acting abilities are maybe if I swallowed a gram of diphenhydramine then went in there I could get diagnosed schizo but I don't like the thought of being put on antipsychotics and assigned a retard reconnaissance agent who gets power of life and death over me.

 

[Lain]

The process of getting diagnosed with these things is laughably easy, you are given a questionnaire in which the answers for spergdom are obvious, following that you do a second questionnaire but this time with a licensed psychiatrist, out of the gay satanic DSM-5. That's literally it, two questionnaires, psychiatry is a fucking gay larp I swear to the Lord above.
They ask for you to bring someone who knows you along to question about you at a younger age but its not a requirement if you can't get anyone. Basically you just have to perform for an hour, or possibly not even if the doctor you go to is not doing in-person consultations yet because of the meme virus.

Yeah, essentially this. In my case, I talked to an Indian psychiatrist for less then 5 minutes and they diagnosed me after I gave off symptoms of whatever I wanted to get diagnosed with. Then I applied for neetbux and talked to another psychiatrist before getting approved like a year later (due to America being slow with neetbux and all) the whole conversation was maybe 5 mins. I went in, he asked what I was diagnosed with, he asked basic math questions that I pretended to fail, then that was it. I've been on neetbux ever since, about 2 years now, I've gotten liike $28k in cash. All I did was LARP for a few mins both ways. It's a good thing normgroids don't know this secret cheat code method to avoiding hard labour or it'd get patched.

 

[DreamSequence]

I don't like speaking to doctors unless I have to or feel that I may be at risk of being deformed. Last time I went to the doctors was when I broke my finger idek why I bothered since it still healed dodgy and they did literally nothing now I've got a gimped finger that looks weird and won't close properly. Hopefully it develops into arthritis in a few years getting some free codeines would make the trip worth it. No idea how good my acting abilities are maybe if I swallowed a gram of diphenhydramine then went in there I could get diagnosed schizo but I don't like the thought of being put on antipsychotics and assigned a retard reconnaissance agent who gets power of life and death over me.

I'm surprised they've given me pregabalin honestly. I spent 2019 strung out on codiene they prescribed and they fucking knew it, that shit is lovely but so so dangerous. Had some hydrocodone and the latterly 30/500 co-codomol that you can cold-water extract

 

[SoupaSilva]

I'm surprised they've given me pregabalin honestly. I spent 2019 strung out on codiene they prescribed and they fucking knew it, that shit is lovely but so so dangerous. Had some hydrocodone and the latterly 30/500 co-codomol that you can cold-water extract

You got hydrocodone over here? I heard it's supposed to be nice I'm not big on opiates unless I've got a spliff to go with them or nothing else to take. Pregabalin's lovely and probably my favourite prescription drug. What did you get it prescribed for? I know someone who has a family member with a trapped nerve and they still only get gabapentin.

 

[DreamSequence]

You got hydrocodone over here? I heard it's supposed to be nice I'm not big on opiates unless I've got a spliff to go with them or nothing else to take. Pregabalin's lovely and probably my favourite prescription drug. What did you get it prescribed for? I know someone who has a family member with a trapped nerve and they still only get gabapentin.

GAD, which was easy as fuck to get diagnosed, I literally just called the doctors - they are still not doing in person consultations where I am - and complained of anxiety on three separate occasions and they prescribed it a day after the third phonecall.
On opiates yeah they feel fucking amazing lol. I was chewing on 240mg of hydro at a time and it was bliss, your whole body is covered in a warm glow. If you feel a little adventurous mix that shit with a little alcohol and you're off your socks

 

[CelticKHV]

Yeah, essentially this. In my case, I talked to an Indian psychiatrist for less then 5 minutes and they diagnosed me after I gave off symptoms of whatever I wanted to get diagnosed with. Then I applied for neetbux and talked to another psychiatrist before getting approved like a year later (due to America being slow with neetbux and all) the whole conversation was maybe 5 mins. I went in, he asked what I was diagnosed with, he asked basic math questions that I pretended to fail, then that was it. I've been on neetbux ever since, about 2 years now, I've gotten liike $28k in cash. All I did was LARP for a few mins both ways. It's a good thing normgroids don't know this secret cheat code method to avoiding hard labour or it'd get patched.

I think in my country having to bring an older relative is a necessity for autism diagnosis but I don't agree with that. Humans can remember from when they were around 4 so a person should remember themselves. My earliest memories of my autist mind are things like crying at school because I didn't have a fork to eat my lunch and being afraid to ask the teacher to go to the toilet so I ended up pissing myself. I was high inhib from my earliest memories.

 

[VoDkA]

I have my welfare phone call tomorrow and I am starting to despise the woman who calls me. Last time she was quite sharp with me because I had the wrong phone number on my account by mistake.

She knows I am a mentally ill fuck yet she still hounds me and always remind me that "you've been on welfare since 2019", yes and you should be thankful because if it wasn't for men like me on welfare you wouldn't have such a comfy office job.

The worst part is when she asks "Have you had any interviews", what an awkward moment, every phone call in 20 months I've said "No not yet". I don't apply for jobs but I tell her I apply for 5 jobs a month.

Gross.