anon1822
Banned
- Apr 5, 2021
- 323
For many years now I've rewatched the same several sitcoms over and over. Some of them I've rewatched like 50 times, some others like 5 or 10 times.
I can't stop. It's like a source of comfort, of soothing. I have to have a sitcom running in the background most of the time, but I'm also actively watching a lot of it.
I don't know how to stop, I've tried several times and I always fall back. It's like there's a void, a very anxious feeling if I stop.
But it's not JUST distracting myself, not just escapism. There's a lot more to it and I can't quite gather my thoughts and remember all the details, but there's a lot more reasons why I can't stop. I guess it's a mix of all my mental problems. My ADD for example, having that sitcom blaring makes it easier to do something like play a game or browse the internet. But also it's the dopamine element. I'm anhedonic as hell, I don't even enjoy video games much. Been depressed/anhedonic for like 12+ years, not enjoying anything at all despite trying to find something. Also everything drains so much energy, requires so much concentration. Even just expending mental energy is too much for me. So sitcoms are basically a way to lie in bed and not be totally bored, whilst pretty much existing in a way that drains as little energy as possible, requires as little thought and effort as possible.
I really dread having to go to work in ~2 months. So many years of rotting, lying in bed and watching sitcoms. So many mental health problems, from depression to ADD to autism maybe. Different types of anxiety, maybe even agoraphobia. And now I'll have to act like a normal person and face one of my biggest nightmares for like 40 years - working. Wish I had a skill or a hobby that I could do for money instead of working a job, but alas my anhedonic ADD ass tried for years and found nothing it liked doing other than rotting in bed. Damn, I won't even have my sitcoms to help me withstand those 8 hours a day, drudging along, doing repetitive, boring, soul-crushing work, surrounded by mean normies that look down upon me for being slightly weird. My sitcoms will still be there after work though. Ain''t that a life, working all day and coming home to watch sitcoms. Worse is that they're the only thing I really am comfortable doing. When I'm not watching sitcoms I'm just so uncomfortable.
And now that I think about it, I've been rewatching sitcoms for so long, it's like they're sort of the fond memories I look back to. Like how normal people look back to events in their lives and are comforted. Well, for me anything in real life out there is just stressful and anxiety-inducing. And I didn't do much of real life either, I basically spent as much time indoors as I could even as a kid, but for the last ~8+ years I've basically rotted in bed. So sitcoms are my comfort, like a social circle, warm relationships and a set of fond memories with them.
But mainly I guess it's just a comfort and a boredom thing. Sitcoms are soothing, but also I just don't really like doing anything, and I don't like spending mental energy, not sure if I even can spend mental energy anymore, it's so stressful doing anything but rotting in bed. Don't like sitting in complete quiet either, but music doesn't really do it for me, but sitcoms do help. So I must have a sitcom playing or I feel miserable.
I can't stop. It's like a source of comfort, of soothing. I have to have a sitcom running in the background most of the time, but I'm also actively watching a lot of it.
I don't know how to stop, I've tried several times and I always fall back. It's like there's a void, a very anxious feeling if I stop.
But it's not JUST distracting myself, not just escapism. There's a lot more to it and I can't quite gather my thoughts and remember all the details, but there's a lot more reasons why I can't stop. I guess it's a mix of all my mental problems. My ADD for example, having that sitcom blaring makes it easier to do something like play a game or browse the internet. But also it's the dopamine element. I'm anhedonic as hell, I don't even enjoy video games much. Been depressed/anhedonic for like 12+ years, not enjoying anything at all despite trying to find something. Also everything drains so much energy, requires so much concentration. Even just expending mental energy is too much for me. So sitcoms are basically a way to lie in bed and not be totally bored, whilst pretty much existing in a way that drains as little energy as possible, requires as little thought and effort as possible.
I really dread having to go to work in ~2 months. So many years of rotting, lying in bed and watching sitcoms. So many mental health problems, from depression to ADD to autism maybe. Different types of anxiety, maybe even agoraphobia. And now I'll have to act like a normal person and face one of my biggest nightmares for like 40 years - working. Wish I had a skill or a hobby that I could do for money instead of working a job, but alas my anhedonic ADD ass tried for years and found nothing it liked doing other than rotting in bed. Damn, I won't even have my sitcoms to help me withstand those 8 hours a day, drudging along, doing repetitive, boring, soul-crushing work, surrounded by mean normies that look down upon me for being slightly weird. My sitcoms will still be there after work though. Ain''t that a life, working all day and coming home to watch sitcoms. Worse is that they're the only thing I really am comfortable doing. When I'm not watching sitcoms I'm just so uncomfortable.
And now that I think about it, I've been rewatching sitcoms for so long, it's like they're sort of the fond memories I look back to. Like how normal people look back to events in their lives and are comforted. Well, for me anything in real life out there is just stressful and anxiety-inducing. And I didn't do much of real life either, I basically spent as much time indoors as I could even as a kid, but for the last ~8+ years I've basically rotted in bed. So sitcoms are my comfort, like a social circle, warm relationships and a set of fond memories with them.
But mainly I guess it's just a comfort and a boredom thing. Sitcoms are soothing, but also I just don't really like doing anything, and I don't like spending mental energy, not sure if I even can spend mental energy anymore, it's so stressful doing anything but rotting in bed. Don't like sitting in complete quiet either, but music doesn't really do it for me, but sitcoms do help. So I must have a sitcom playing or I feel miserable.
Last edited:
