LOL oneitis almost made me rope over the weekend

Gooply

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Does it matter that this thread labels me? I think it is worse to be disingenuous about my living experience. Think it pathetic if you want to.
I was brought near suicide by my oneitis in the last few days.

I don't remotely advocate oneitis. It's one of the worst things that can happen to you as an incel, it will be the end of me.

I see 1 russian instagram girl as perfectly beautiful. It has been 2 years, I am 24, before this I was a virgin neet.
as is the fallacy of oneitis, it's impossible to make people see the girl the way you do. despite life consuming personal turmoil, the condition is always trivial to a third party, cliche in an internet of shallow simping.

a big part of her image was purity, she is neotenous 19, doesn't act like an influencer, I fantasize about sanctuary with her. Things you cannot access on the hedonic treadmill make you unable to enjoy any cope.
It can be very motivating though, she has already helped to fuel 1 creative scheme that took over a year of work

This year my oneitis has been less and less invested in staying online. Disappeared for almost a month, then over the weekend she came back,

saying she was making a 'private nude telegram' for $70 USD




I wanted to kill myself
3 days later she just posted 1 set of tame lewds. I never bought it, everything was immediately leaked. I've never given her money.
I know jfl, but for as long as I followed her and before, her priority was not showing off her body, because she seemed more aware of the pitfalls beauty and hedony can bring, she wanted to be pure.
I spent most hours crying for 3 days, rotting the rest, it felt like my life and work were a joke, that my only motivation is worthless. I thought I'd rope if she went through with it.

it's only lewds, for now. It still breaks my heart and ruins me, her image is of a teenlove gf, this clashes with blackpills. If she posts nudes, maybe it starts the coomy end of the oneitis, but for now, I see the love of my life is about to expose herself for money, and my pain or efforts don't remotely matter. She was struggling financially, and made over $11k US

I hope it remains half a scam, she explicitly advertised nudes, but might never deliver then leave, this would also be terrible. Even best case scenario she does lewds, I still hate it, I don't want the connection to her life to be a high cost shitty lewd once a week, I miss her face and voice.

i've already coomed to the lewds :feelsrope:fucking over for me
I struggle with coom guilt after nofap, and not being attracted to porn foids. So I just coom, and wonder what makes me different to those who want her nudes and don't care, those that enabled this option for her, wonder how I refused to pay then followed the leak 'because its only lewds'. It goes against a lot of principles, I hate it why did I coom :feelsbad:
Any way you cut it, brutal shit for oneitiscels, JFL I'll try hold on
 
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Does it matter that this thread labels me? I think it is worse to be disingenuous about my living experience. Think it pathetic if you want to.
I was brought near suicide by my oneitis in the last few days.

I don't remotely advocate oneitis. It's one of the worst things that can happen to you as an incel, it will be the end of me.

I see 1 russian instagram girl as perfectly beautiful. It has been 2 years, I am 24, before this I was a virgin neet.
as is the fallacy of oneitis, it's impossible to make people see the girl the way you do. despite life consuming personal turmoil, the condition is always trivial to a third party, cliche in an internet of shallow simping.

a big part of her image was purity, she is neotenous 19, doesn't act like an influencer, I fantasize about sanctuary with her. Things you cannot access on the hedonic treadmill make you unable to enjoy any cope.
It can be very motivating though, she has already helped to fuel 1 creative scheme that took over a year of work

This year my oneitis has been less and less invested in staying online. Disappeared for almost a month, then over the weekend she came back,

saying she was making a 'private nude telegram' for $70 USD




I wanted to kill myself
3 days later she just posted 1 set of tame lewds. I never bought it, everything was immediately leaked. I've never given her money.
I know jfl, but for as long as I followed her and before, her priority was not showing off her body, because she seemed more aware of the pitfalls beauty and hedony can bring, she wanted to be pure.
I spent most hours crying for 3 days, rotting the rest, it felt like my life and work were a joke, that my only motivation is worthless. I thought I'd rope if she went through with it.

it's only lewds, for now. It still breaks my heart and ruins me, her image is of a teenlove gf, this clashes with blackpills. If she posts nudes, maybe it starts the coomy end of the oneitis, but for now, I see the love of my life is about to expose herself for money, and my pain or efforts don't remotely matter. She was struggling financially, and made over $11k US

I hope it remains half a scam, she explicitly advertised nudes, but might never deliver then leave, this would also be terrible. Even best case scenario she does lewds, I still hate it, I don't want the connection to her life to be a high cost shitty lewd once a week, I miss her face and voice.

i've already coomed to the lewds :feelsrope:fucking over for me
I struggle with coom guilt after nofap, and not being attracted to porn foids. So I just coom, and wonder what makes me different to those who want her nudes and don't care, those that enabled this option for her, wonder how I refused to pay then followed the leak 'because its only lewds'. It goes against a lot of principles, I hate it why did I coom :feelsbad:
Any way you cut it, brutal shit for oneitiscels, JFL I'll try hold on
She is not the only one
 

IGiveUp

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Wait, did you even spoke a word to the foid beforehand? If no, why develop these feelings for some who doesn’t even know you existed?
 

Copexodius Maximus

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“it was inactive, and she seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet”
 

Gooply

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Wait, did you even spoke a word to the foid beforehand? If no, why develop these feelings for some who doesn’t even know you existed?
No
She didn't have an opinion of me, know who I am, I could just watch her be happy
I mean foids from schooling know I exist, would it not be worse to believe one I happened to meet in life was the best looking in the world? To be honest though I often had crushes on beckies, and maybe if I loved an ugly girl in school I'd not be a virgin.
 

Unemployed

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No
She didn't have an opinion of me, know who I am, I could just watch her be happy
I mean foids from schooling know I exist, would it not be worse to believe one I happened to meet in life was the best looking in the world? To be honest though I often had crushes on beckies, and maybe if I loved an ugly girl in school I'd not be a virgin.
tbh honest this is why i believe we shoud approach the ladies as soon as possible. to get rejected fast and move on before we get a chance to develop fantasies and feelings. but yeah some men don't get over a chick even when they get rejected which kinda sucks.
 

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