Serious I wish i had a fresh start at life

Rebbington

Rebbington

👹
Aug 12, 2021
3,584
I just wish I had another start at life even if I was ugly, my brain is beyond repair and my thoughts make me sick its like a disease that unfortunately won’t kill me any time soon. I wish I had a dad who liked me I really liked fishing and all that shit I just wish I had a normal family life, it wouldn’t have to be perfect just sustainable don’t get me wrong I love and care for my gran but she isn’t my mum I honestly hate my mum so fucking much she was and is a disgusting vile junkie who would hit me over the slightest of things she would genuinely mock my poor looks and call me ugly a lot. She loved putting me down, sometimes she would even come over to my grans house and fight and hit her and me I was a lot younger then but still, one day I sent a text to my gran about my suicidal thoughts and all the horrible shit I felt my mum was in the house and read the messages told me to come home then she proceeded to beat me just for being depressed the list goes on and on about the disgusting shit she put me through.

My dad was just as much of an asshole as her he would do all his drugs with her and he would hit me too I don’t know why but I forgive him, he never even talked with me all that much I don’t even know the barest things about him he kind of vanished.

I wish I wasn’t so fucking alone I have legit NO ONE to talk to my age, no one to be my friend during school no one to chat with me no one to hang out with, the only interaction I really had besides “hellos” was talking to people on Xbox I tried everything I joined lots of clubs I did lots of activities I went outside to mingle with people, but no one wanted anything to do with me they would quickly brush me off if I made ANY conversation with them. I kind of jestermaxxed in school by fucking up on purpose acting like a clown walking home mid lesson and the likes it was funny and I got some laughs, but I never had anymore than that really. I did dog shit in terms of school and I have NOTHING to show for the time I spent there, I was coping with the army but that turned out shitty because of me being on anti-depressants and my cutting habit.

I just hate being so lonely and feeling like shit 24/7 even with all the shit that’s went wrong for me I wish I could just make all my feelings stop it’s just been getting progressively worse and worse, I have no idea when it will stop ever nothing has helped me with It. I just wish I had a friend in this world, but NO ONE can be bothered with me. Nowadays I wish that a meteor would just eradicate all of us to be honest. I despise seeing all these people with their perfect families and girlfriends and huge friend groups I don’t give a FUCK if they are “fake” or what ever bullshit id rather have a fake friend than none.

I hate all the habits I have now I get shit sleep and I cant get any dopamine from porn, I sometimes cry while watching porn because I know no one will be inmate with me, and before you say “just get An Escort bro” its not about sex it’s about love I WISH it was about sex, to be accepted in that way by a woman would be the best thing EVER and the best feeling but no not for me I cant have that no matter how hard I try. I am doomed there isn’t a single attractive trait about me my only chance is to wait until I am 30 and betabuxx a roastie, I just want to be loved for once in my life I just want someone to fucking notice I exist that’s all I want the attention I’ve been robbed of, I just hate how pathetic my life has turned out I am so angry I am somehow not angry its an odd indescribable feeling.

Why am I so weird I hate being the odd one out I can remember going to the gym and having people laugh at me just for being me and being there what is so fucking funny about me? I’ve had rubbish flung at me, water sprayed on me and once a lit cig flung at me all because they want to assert power over me even though I am already gone, I hate the looks of disgust people give me why does everyone act like they are better than me.

Fml I just don’t know why a sick sadistic god would put me here.
 
Last edited:
Asylum Patient

Asylum Patient

I want money
May 13, 2021
4,340
Well written post and very relatable.

Like Atila said life is like a RL-RPG without any possibilities to load, reload or save the "game". People spawn with their individual set of stats and just have to deal with it. You can max out on those stats but only to a certain max degree which was permanently set in your settings before your life started.

If it helps you a little bit all of this is not your fault, everything was out of your control. We can all thank our parents who brought us into this world in a selfish, egoistical act.
 
Rebbington

Rebbington

👹
Aug 12, 2021
3,584
Did you really write this? Very good post I read every word. I feel for you brother I can relate with you and I respect you a lot for writing this. I truly hope you can somehow find some peace for yourself in this twisted world we all live in.
yeah i wrote it out its hard for me to write it took a while ill often not try or ill forget to add grammer and stuff
 
6speedmanual

6speedmanual

Progressing
Dec 1, 2020
1,611
Read every word

1651085777215
 
patientfrog

patientfrog

NEET Royalty
Apr 21, 2022
1,848
I just wish I had another start at life even if I was ugly, my brain is beyond repair and my thoughts make me sick its like a disease that unfortunately won’t kill me any time soon. I wish I had a dad who liked me I really liked fishing and all that shit I just wish I had a normal family life, it wouldn’t have to be perfect just sustainable don’t get me wrong I love and care for my gran but she isn’t my mum I honestly hate my mum so fucking much she was and is a disgusting vile junkie who would hit me over the slightest of things she would genuinely mock my poor looks and call me ugly a lot. She loved putting me down, sometimes she would even come over to my grans house and fight and hit her and me I was a lot younger then but still, one day I sent a text to my gran about my suicidal thoughts and all the horrible shit I felt my mum was in the house and read the messages told me to come home then she proceeded to beat me just for being depressed the list goes on and on about the disgusting shit she put me through.

My dad was just as much of an asshole as her he would do all his drugs with her and he would hit me too I don’t know why but I forgive him, he never even talked with me all that much I don’t even know the barest things about him he kind of vanished.

I wish I wasn’t so fucking alone I have legit NO ONE to talk to my age, no one to be my friend during school no one to chat with me no one to hang out with, the only interaction I really had besides “hellos” was talking to people on Xbox I tried everything I joined lots of clubs I did lots of activities I went outside to mingle with people, but no one wanted anything to do with me they would quickly brush me off if I made ANY conversation with them. I kind of jestermaxxed in school by fucking up on purpose acting like a clown walking home mid lesson and the likes it was funny and I got some laughs, but I never had anymore than that really. I did dog shit in terms of school and I have NOTHING to show for the time I spent there, I was coping with the army but that turned out shitty because of me being on anti-depressants and my cutting habit.

I just hate being so lonely and feeling like shit 24/7 even with all the shit that’s went wrong for me I wish I could just make all my feelings stop it’s just been getting progressively worse and worse, I have no idea when it will stop ever nothing has helped me with It. I just wish I had a friend in this world, but NO ONE can be bothered with me. Nowadays I wish that a meteor would just eradicate all of us to be honest. I despise seeing all these people with their perfect families and girlfriends and huge friend groups I don’t give a FUCK if they are “fake” or what ever bullshit id rather have a fake friend than none.

I hate all the habits I have now I get shit sleep and I cant get any dopamine from porn, I sometimes cry while watching porn because I know no one will be inmate with me, and before you say “just get An Escort bro” its not about sex it’s about love I WISH it was about sex, to be accepted in that way by a woman would be the best thing EVER and the best feeling but no not for me I cant have that no matter how hard I try. I am doomed there isn’t a single attractive trait about me my only chance is to wait until I am 30 and betabuxx a roastie, I just want to be loved for once in my life I just want someone to fucking notice I exist that’s all I want the attention I’ve been robbed of, I just hate how pathetic my life has turned out I am so angry I am somehow not angry its an odd indescribable feeling.

Why am I so weird I hate being the odd one out I can remember going to the gym and having people laugh at me just for being me and being there what is so fucking funny about me? I’ve had rubbish flung at me, water sprayed on me and once a lit cig flung at me all because they want to assert power over me even though I am already gone, I hate the looks of disgust people give me why does everyone act like they are better than me.

Fml I just don’t know why a sick sadistic god would put me here.
sorry to hear that dude. wish i could help.
 
Nameless_sunflower

Nameless_sunflower

NEET
Sep 19, 2022
4,851
I just wish I had another start at life even if I was ugly, my brain is beyond repair and my thoughts make me sick its like a disease that unfortunately won’t kill me any time soon. I wish I had a dad who liked me I really liked fishing and all that shit I just wish I had a normal family life, it wouldn’t have to be perfect just sustainable don’t get me wrong I love and care for my gran but she isn’t my mum I honestly hate my mum so fucking much she was and is a disgusting vile junkie who would hit me over the slightest of things she would genuinely mock my poor looks and call me ugly a lot. She loved putting me down, sometimes she would even come over to my grans house and fight and hit her and me I was a lot younger then but still, one day I sent a text to my gran about my suicidal thoughts and all the horrible shit I felt my mum was in the house and read the messages told me to come home then she proceeded to beat me just for being depressed the list goes on and on about the disgusting shit she put me through.

My dad was just as much of an asshole as her he would do all his drugs with her and he would hit me too I don’t know why but I forgive him, he never even talked with me all that much I don’t even know the barest things about him he kind of vanished.

I wish I wasn’t so fucking alone I have legit NO ONE to talk to my age, no one to be my friend during school no one to chat with me no one to hang out with, the only interaction I really had besides “hellos” was talking to people on Xbox I tried everything I joined lots of clubs I did lots of activities I went outside to mingle with people, but no one wanted anything to do with me they would quickly brush me off if I made ANY conversation with them. I kind of jestermaxxed in school by fucking up on purpose acting like a clown walking home mid lesson and the likes it was funny and I got some laughs, but I never had anymore than that really. I did dog shit in terms of school and I have NOTHING to show for the time I spent there, I was coping with the army but that turned out shitty because of me being on anti-depressants and my cutting habit.

I just hate being so lonely and feeling like shit 24/7 even with all the shit that’s went wrong for me I wish I could just make all my feelings stop it’s just been getting progressively worse and worse, I have no idea when it will stop ever nothing has helped me with It. I just wish I had a friend in this world, but NO ONE can be bothered with me. Nowadays I wish that a meteor would just eradicate all of us to be honest. I despise seeing all these people with their perfect families and girlfriends and huge friend groups I don’t give a FUCK if they are “fake” or what ever bullshit id rather have a fake friend than none.

I hate all the habits I have now I get shit sleep and I cant get any dopamine from porn, I sometimes cry while watching porn because I know no one will be inmate with me, and before you say “just get An Escort bro” its not about sex it’s about love I WISH it was about sex, to be accepted in that way by a woman would be the best thing EVER and the best feeling but no not for me I cant have that no matter how hard I try. I am doomed there isn’t a single attractive trait about me my only chance is to wait until I am 30 and betabuxx a roastie, I just want to be loved for once in my life I just want someone to fucking notice I exist that’s all I want the attention I’ve been robbed of, I just hate how pathetic my life has turned out I am so angry I am somehow not angry its an odd indescribable feeling.

Why am I so weird I hate being the odd one out I can remember going to the gym and having people laugh at me just for being me and being there what is so fucking funny about me? I’ve had rubbish flung at me, water sprayed on me and once a lit cig flung at me all because they want to assert power over me even though I am already gone, I hate the looks of disgust people give me why does everyone act like they are better than me.

Fml I just don’t know why a sick sadistic god would put me here.
But I remember that old couple let you sleep in their van
Heartwarming story
 
SoupaSilva

SoupaSilva

obies grainy sourcer
Oct 6, 2021
4,362
Arrange a meetup with other Anglo-Saxoncels on here @SoupaSilva @uglyboi1 @Lord Rottermere maybe take a train journey together?
I've always thought it would be fun to have a UK neets.me meetup. Not sure if anyone would actually go or what we'd do though, wondered if I'd end up on a day out with 3 feds
 
KARENIN

KARENIN

I wanna revive Hitler but I can't figure out how
Jul 2, 2022
3,188
I've always thought it would be fun to have a UK neets.me meetup. Not sure if anyone would actually go or what we'd do though, wondered if I'd end up on a day out with 3 feds
Keep it small and restricted to active posters, also don't invite Honkler (because he's monitored by Counter-Terrorism Task Force officers) and you should be safe from feds and lice.

You guys probably live in different regions so some sort of railway-based trip would be ideal? E.g.

Day 1: NEET#1 takes train to NEET#2's town, meets up with NEET#2, they smoke cigars outside for a while then take an overnight sleeper train to NEET#3's town

Day 2: NEETs #1 and #2 meet up with NEET#3 in the morning, they smoke cigars outside for a while then take an overnight sleeper train to NEET#4's town.

Day 3: NEETs #1, #2 and #3 meet up with NEET#4 in the morning, they smoke cigars together then take sleeper trains back to their respective hometowns

Idk how brutal train tickets prices are though, so this might be prohibitively expensive
 
Last edited:
Nameless_sunflower

Nameless_sunflower

NEET
Sep 19, 2022
4,851
Keep it small and restricted to active posters, also don't invite Honkler (because he's monitored by Counter-Terrorism Task Force officers) and you should be safe from feds and lice.

You guys probably live in different regions so some sort of railway-based trip would be ideal? E.g.

Day 1: NEET#1 takes train to NEET#2's town, meets up with NEET#2, they smoke cigars outside for a while then take an overnight sleeper train to NEET#3's town

Day 2: NEETs #1 and #2 meet up with NEET#3 in the morning, they smoke cigars outside for a while then take an overnight sleeper train to NEET#4's town.

Day 3: NEETs #1, #2 and #3 meet up with NEET#4 in the morning, they smoke cigars together then take sleeper trains back to their respective hometowns

Idk how brutal train tickets prices are though, so this might be prohibitively expensive
don't smoke
cigs put holes in your aura
 
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