L
L0ser
NEET
- Aug 9, 2021
- 3
From middle school throughout high school and onwards, I have always felt inferior. I was never smart enough, good at sports, tall, or good looking. I did however grow up in an upper-middle class family, which meant I had plenty of pocket money, much of which I spent on other people, to try and get them to like me. This has been the only way I've ever been able to make friends from middle school and onwards. Because of this, my pain has been so engrained within my mind, that I often think to myself that I don't deserve friends, because I don't have wealth, status or looks to show off, or please them with. This is not normal, life is not supposed to be this awful.
I have tried many times to make friends in other ways, but it has never worked. People simply do not respect me, and the closest thing I've had to friends-without-paying, is when I was making fun off myself and purposefully fucking my life up for the entertainment of others in High School. Even when I've paid for peoples stuff, they still disrespect me. I've had girls tell me I look like a 14 year old and that I'm of lower intelligence, despite treating them nicely and doing everything in my power to make them feel good. And no, this wasn't a joke, it was serious, and I know this because afterwards they said "but you are good in other ways", lol. I've had guys telling me I will never be a real man in their eyes, because of my height, despite me treating them nicely, and being willing to pay for their stuff. I've also tried saying "No." when asked to pay for people, but that has ultimately lead in them cutting off all communication with me. People just don't want anything to do with me, unless I've got something to offer, hence why it is always me reaching out, when it comes to social stuff.
Yesterday I had a conversation with a girl from university, who began shit-talking several guys from her apartment complex, because they seem like "weirdos". She also told me how she had told the other girls in that complex to stay away from those guys, because they seem creepy. When asked why she thought they seemed creepy, she simply responded "They just dont talk much, and don't give me a good feeling". When I then asked her if she had tried reaching out to them, as being social isn't easy for everyone, she said "No, that's not my job". It's funny, because in the past, she has also shit-talked a guy for "trying too hard" when he tried to join the group of normies at the apartment complex. What makes it even worse, is that the good looking guys from her complex don't even try to reach out to these loners either. I then saw the pictures of these guys, and they were all unattractive and short, like me. At the same time, she loves talking about how the good looking guys at the complex are "intelligent", "deep", and "just makes everyone feel good". This was for me the straw that broke the camels back. I have now fully realised, that I will never be respected by others, simply because I am an ugly short man, who isnt rich or famous. For no fault of my own, I will always be seen as inferior, and will be badmouthed behind my back, because I am an eye sore. Normies (specially the women) are evil in its purest form. They shun those who don't live up to their requirements, and show no mercy. Now, I don't want to sit here and tell you that I am an angel who is perfect, because I am not. I'm not the funniest or most charming, and I can sometimes space out. But is that really enough to make people not respect me..?
It has become quite clear to me that I am not made for this world. I will never be respected by others. I am a loser, and I should have been killed at birth.
I have tried many times to make friends in other ways, but it has never worked. People simply do not respect me, and the closest thing I've had to friends-without-paying, is when I was making fun off myself and purposefully fucking my life up for the entertainment of others in High School. Even when I've paid for peoples stuff, they still disrespect me. I've had girls tell me I look like a 14 year old and that I'm of lower intelligence, despite treating them nicely and doing everything in my power to make them feel good. And no, this wasn't a joke, it was serious, and I know this because afterwards they said "but you are good in other ways", lol. I've had guys telling me I will never be a real man in their eyes, because of my height, despite me treating them nicely, and being willing to pay for their stuff. I've also tried saying "No." when asked to pay for people, but that has ultimately lead in them cutting off all communication with me. People just don't want anything to do with me, unless I've got something to offer, hence why it is always me reaching out, when it comes to social stuff.
Yesterday I had a conversation with a girl from university, who began shit-talking several guys from her apartment complex, because they seem like "weirdos". She also told me how she had told the other girls in that complex to stay away from those guys, because they seem creepy. When asked why she thought they seemed creepy, she simply responded "They just dont talk much, and don't give me a good feeling". When I then asked her if she had tried reaching out to them, as being social isn't easy for everyone, she said "No, that's not my job". It's funny, because in the past, she has also shit-talked a guy for "trying too hard" when he tried to join the group of normies at the apartment complex. What makes it even worse, is that the good looking guys from her complex don't even try to reach out to these loners either. I then saw the pictures of these guys, and they were all unattractive and short, like me. At the same time, she loves talking about how the good looking guys at the complex are "intelligent", "deep", and "just makes everyone feel good". This was for me the straw that broke the camels back. I have now fully realised, that I will never be respected by others, simply because I am an ugly short man, who isnt rich or famous. For no fault of my own, I will always be seen as inferior, and will be badmouthed behind my back, because I am an eye sore. Normies (specially the women) are evil in its purest form. They shun those who don't live up to their requirements, and show no mercy. Now, I don't want to sit here and tell you that I am an angel who is perfect, because I am not. I'm not the funniest or most charming, and I can sometimes space out. But is that really enough to make people not respect me..?
It has become quite clear to me that I am not made for this world. I will never be respected by others. I am a loser, and I should have been killed at birth.