I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind

[Cope Artist]

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[incelkingkong]

whats goin on big fella

 

[Kaz]

You still have yours?

 

[Cope Artist]

whats goin on big fella

I'm not big

You still have yours?

Yes man, for now. It's hanging by a thread though.
What I will have to go through to live a semi-normal life is just too rough. I fucked up really hard. It's all my fault too. Things could have been so much better. Now I am a hopeless, broke, short, balding, aging, retarded ethnic. To cope with reality, I have mastered the art of self delusion, to a point where I no longer can distinguish what's real and what's not. Who's going to correct me? Who's going to remind me what reality is, what really happened? Noone. There's absolutely noone.
God, I will have to go out in the public. After all those years, I eventually will have to. Or I'll starve. They should document my behavior so that it can be taught to the next generations. The isolated man, they'd call it. They'd show it at highschools across the nation. Look kids, don't detach yourself from the others or you could end up like this man. That's me. I am a parents worst nightmare.

 

[Kaz]

I'm not big

Yes man, for now. It's hanging by a thread though.
What I will have to go through to live a semi-normal life is just too rough. I fucked up really hard. It's all my fault too. Things could have been so much better. Now I am a hopeless, broke, short, balding, aging, retarded ethnic. To cope with reality, I have mastered the art of self delusion, to a point where I no longer can distinguish what's real and what's not. Who's going to correct me? Who's going to remind me what reality is, what really happened? Noone. There's absolutely noone.
God, I will have to go out in the public. After all those years, I eventually will have to. Or I'll starve. They should document my behavior so that it can be taught to the next generations. The isolated man, they'd call it. They'd show it at highschools across the nation. Look kids, don't detach yourself from the others or you could end up like this man. That's me. I am a parents worst nightmare.

When I had a break from here, I finally did my dishes and went outside where people hang. Got some alcohol in me and talked like I talk here. Nothing happened and I'm now back here. Everything is bleak. No money, looks or social skills... There is nothing I can say to myself or to you that would make us feel better. You'll likely end up wage slaving and living a minimalistic life. If you want any hope, leave this site and rid yourself from dopamine addiction. Be internet free for a week. I couldn't do it, maybe you can. Im now just forcing my self to give advice since I wanna figure this shit myself too but every road and every step I take is such a fucking bullshit and future has nothing I desire. I just need money to secure my future and fuck some prostitutes since I am all talk after all. I wish I had lifefuel to do anything... Sorry I'm talking about myself but shit like this hits close to home. I'd won't even think what I'm typing anymore fuck this life and humanity and nature it's all fucked meaningless fucking shit with shit people in it.

 

[Cope Artist]

When I had a break from here, I finally did my dishes and went outside where people hang. Got some alcohol in me and talked like I talk here. Nothing happened and I'm now back here.

You're in much better shape than I am man. I don't think I could do that, and pass as a normal person.

Everything is bleak. No money, looks or social skills... There is nothing I can say to myself or to you that would make us feel better. You'll likely end up wage slaving and living a minimalistic life. If you want any hope, leave this site and rid yourself from dopamine addiction. Be internet free for a week. I couldn't do it, maybe you can. Im now just forcing my self to give advice since I wanna figure this shit myself too but every road and every step I take is such a fucking bullshit and future has nothing I desire. I just need money to secure my future and fuck some prostitutes since I am all talk after all. I wish I had lifefuel to do anything... Sorry I'm talking about myself but shit like this hits close to home. I'd won't even think what I'm typing anymore fuck this life and humanity and nature it's all fucked meaningless fucking shit with shit people in it.

Even if I freed myself, then what? What awaits me? What led me into this hell in the first place was out of my control anyways.
It's so hopeless, both for you and I. Thinking about your situation, it's really tough. You're 30 or something right? By time time you're done with your debt, you'd be in your mid 30's. That's an old man age. That's an age when you're done having your fun, so that you'd either work on your family or carreer. Yet, you'll be set free at that age. It's rough. You'll never feel competent, fullfilled, in peace. Fuck man.

As for me, I'll have to go back to the college just to have the option to become a minimum wage slave. And eventually I will inherit my familys debt, it'll take at least 10 years to pay it off. By the time it's paid, I'll be 40. Fucking 40. Done nothing, experienced nothing, lived nothing. Just existed, even that is doubtful, since there are no witnesses.

I'd be so satisfied with a normal job, I'd have people around me, perhaps I'd have a wife. I'd have something to look forwards to at home. I'd think of something else besides death before I sleep. But it's all too late. I'll work my hours, earn my wages, spend time online because there's nothing else I could do, I'll eat, shit, piss, sleep and die. I am trapped. My fate has been written already.

Maybe I should sell my kidney, buy lottery tickets with the money and pray for a miracle or something. If it fails, I'd just jump in front of a train, or jump off a bridge. Not much would be lost, as every day is the same. Thinking like this, I've already experienced my entire life already. Is that why I feel so old? I mean, what's going to change? Next 10 years, every day will be the exact same. Yesterday was the same as today, so the day before, and the day before. It's like I am stuck in a timeloop, but I know I'm getting older because my hair's falling out.

My biggest dream, biggest fantasy is a major catastrophe. A meteor, a nuclear war, some insane infectious disease, massive earthquakes. If I could witness that, I think I'd be satisfied. You know why? That's the only time when likes of us shine. When there's depression, death, fear, sorrow. We have nothing to lose. We won't cry because we lost something, or someone died. We might even cherish it. Something happened, after all. The others will never get it. They're too involved with what they have, they don't know what hopelessness is. Maybe God will answer my prayers, maybe an earthquake is just around the corner. That alone makes life worth living I guess.

 

[Kaz]

You're 30 or something right?

Yup, 30 with zero good memories to look back to so the future doesn't appeal to me.

My biggest dream, biggest fantasy is a major catastrophe. A meteor, a nuclear war, some insane infectious disease, massive earthquakes. If I could witness that, I think I'd be satisfied. You know why? That's the only time when likes of us shine. When there's depression, death, fear, sorrow. We have nothing to lose. We won't cry because we lost something, or someone died. We might even cherish it. Something happened, after all. The others will never get it. They're too involved with what they have, they don't know what hopelessness is.

I was happy when I heard about Corona. Now I'm fucking depressed to know it was a scam.
Current world is hell for us. Only thing that makes me smile is the fact that all these mother fuckers get old and rot with us.

Maybe God will answer my prayers, maybe an earthquake is just around the corner. That alone makes life worth living I guess.

We all have our copes, I wish I could believe in god. Then there would be a chance for me to kill him.

 

[chudur-budur]

 

[Cope Artist]

Yup, 30 with zero good memories to look back to so the future doesn't appeal to me.

I will be in your spot in 5 years.

I was happy when I heard about Corona. Now I'm fucking depressed to know it was a scam.
Current world is hell for us. Only thing that makes me smile is the fact that all these mother fuckers get old and rot with us.

That indeed is a very good cope. Watching people grow old and lose what they have is great

 

[Cope Artist]

One day, I may. I am not hanging myself though, I probably will jump in front of the subway train. It's a very popular method of suicide here. It's quick, nearly guaranteed to work, and you get to ruin a bunch of normies day. When someone commits suicide they need time to clean the mess, so there's a good one hour delay. Happened to me before.

 

[Atila]

 

[BrendioEEE]

 

[gigacel123]

Sorry brother. As a soon-to-be-homeless truecel I get your pain. (Unlike the shitposting braindead bored larping zoomers that plague this forum that will go on to slay in college and laugh in your face.)

Worst part is the pain never going away.

 

[Disorder]

Sorry brother. As a soon-to-be-homeless truecel I get your pain. (Unlike the shitposting braindead bored larping zoomers that plague this forum that will go on to slay in college and laugh in your face.)

Worst part is the pain never going away.

Go post on incels.is instead of bullying innocent zoomers on this wholesome forum

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

It's over for this forum.