anon1822
Banned
- Apr 5, 2021
- 323
I'm so used to my numb routine. It's comfortable, it's the truest form of escapism. Weeks, months, years have flown by, just numb and comfy.
But after many years of this, I guess my brain just can't tolerate being outside of this numb comfort. Even so much as watching a different tv show just makes me feel weird, almost manic. Anxious as hell. Almost like existential dread, I feel very uncomfortable. Almost getting panic attacks, not really though.
Same shit happens if I do anything new really. Or if I contemplate the past, even just listening to songs I used to listen. Shit, I repress 99% of any memory I've had, I hate thinking about the past. Anyway, new songs, new sites, new anything. If I don't just rot in bed watching the same sitcoms, playing the same games, browsing the same sites, then I'm fucking anxious as hell, stressed.
Shit, wageslaving is going to suck so, so fucking bad for me. It'll be a million times worse than anything.
But after many years of this, I guess my brain just can't tolerate being outside of this numb comfort. Even so much as watching a different tv show just makes me feel weird, almost manic. Anxious as hell. Almost like existential dread, I feel very uncomfortable. Almost getting panic attacks, not really though.
Same shit happens if I do anything new really. Or if I contemplate the past, even just listening to songs I used to listen. Shit, I repress 99% of any memory I've had, I hate thinking about the past. Anyway, new songs, new sites, new anything. If I don't just rot in bed watching the same sitcoms, playing the same games, browsing the same sites, then I'm fucking anxious as hell, stressed.
Shit, wageslaving is going to suck so, so fucking bad for me. It'll be a million times worse than anything.
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