Looksmax Refugee
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- Feb 28, 2021
- 20,809
Being a bull is a bit like being Spider-Man, I guess: with great power comes great responsibility. Learning to wield it with care and precision takes time, for attaining mastery is a marathon and not a sprint, but assures success and lasting fun in the long-term. The rise of the Ethical Bull from the quagmire of confusion and misunderstanding about the kink is long overdue.
Here is the ethical framework I like to follow. It may seem like a lot, but it focuses on respect and consent and is really not that hard to do.
(EDIT: I'm not perfect and I'm not saying that you have to follow some rigid set of rules, or that there's only one way to do things, this is just my personal take.)
(1) The couple’s relationship/marriage always comes first, followed by their responsibilities to their families and professional lives. If you don’t respect this, I'd say you’re being parasitic*.*
(2) You must make peace with the fact that you are entering a three-way relationship, even if the sexual aspect only happens with one of them. As a corollary, your role is to provide fun and pleasure and should never interfere with the couple’s emotional bond. No bull is inherently morally superior to a cuckold or vice versa. Notions of "alpha / beta" dynamics are in any case based on flawed zoological studies and veer often into creepy associations with eugenics and even the incel movement. They cannot translate into the modern social contract where all human beings are born equal with shared rights and responsibilities.
(3) It is up to the couple to set the power dynamic that suits them; you subsequently take cues from this and operate within this. Any power you have is given to you temporarily, no matter how elaborate the scenario, and can be taken back at any moment.
(4) Your boundaries matter as much the couples. Never feel pressured to enter into any sort of play you are not comfortable with, nor should you ever press them into unfamiliar territory. Bicuriousity and heteroflexibility is common in many cuckolding setups—if this does not appeal to you, state this clearly without being bigoted.
(5) Everyone’s safety is tantamount. In this day and age, no play should engage without full STD screening and a frank discussion about contraception. In my view, the right to go raw has to be earned especially if you are not exclusive. Safewords are essential and should be established at the outset. Not respecting a safeword — or threatening to not heed it — amounts to violation and assault.
(6) Always meet a new couple beforehand in a public place, for a relaxed meet and greet session, for everyone’s safety. You should have as many non-sexual meetups as befits everyone feeling comfy before proceeding to any play. You should always be well-presented, gentlemanly, and strive to be as articulate as possible
(7) It’s a learning curve for everybody and peoples’ needs change, including yours. Always strive to improve yourself and learn what you and the couple find enjoyable. Cuckolds often morph into stags and vice versa and may switch between roles as everyone becomes comfortable with each other. Check in frequently outside of your play and see if everyone is happy with how things are.
(8) Domination does not equal humiliation, nor is humiliation an essential aspect of cuckoldry regardless how many find it fun. Not all bulls are doms and not all doms are bulls, and that is fine. You merely need to be assertive and fun to be with—don’t overthink it.
(9) Respect, a sense of fun, stamina, clear boundaries and playing to your strengths equate to success in the long term far more than a big dick and muscles. Some of the most successful bull colleagues I’ve known have been pretty average in the size department, besides, actual measurements are secondary if it feels good. Beware the couple who regard you merely as a life-support system for a dick. You are a human being with nuances.
(10) A couple’s first time is an incredible roller-coaster of feelings and experiences. Start as neutral as possible and do not deviate from what has been discussed. I don’t ramp anything up on the first meet-up; I just make sure everyone (including myself) is having fun. The same holds for you when you are starting out—be honest about this, most couples find it endearing and if they are experienced you can learn a lot. Performance anxiety and stage fright is real thing and can happen to anyone. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens—reset, regroup, try to laugh about it, and try again when you feel ready.
(11) Fantasies may be hot in theory but terrifying in reality. Set a neutral baseline first—this is essential with a couple who are just starting out. Humiliation/denial / caging / submission do not belong with your first appearance in play if they have never been tried out before. Your arrival is enormous enough for them to process. Start low, go slow.
(12) Feelings do happen and if emotional lines get blurred this needs to be frankly and sensitively discussed with all parties.
TLDR: Be a bull, not a bully. Have fun with your dick, but don’t be a dick.
Ultimately, if you have had fun and also brought the couple closer together as a result of the pleasure you provide, you've done your job perfectly.
And so endeth the lesson.
Here is the ethical framework I like to follow. It may seem like a lot, but it focuses on respect and consent and is really not that hard to do.
(EDIT: I'm not perfect and I'm not saying that you have to follow some rigid set of rules, or that there's only one way to do things, this is just my personal take.)
(1) The couple’s relationship/marriage always comes first, followed by their responsibilities to their families and professional lives. If you don’t respect this, I'd say you’re being parasitic*.*
(2) You must make peace with the fact that you are entering a three-way relationship, even if the sexual aspect only happens with one of them. As a corollary, your role is to provide fun and pleasure and should never interfere with the couple’s emotional bond. No bull is inherently morally superior to a cuckold or vice versa. Notions of "alpha / beta" dynamics are in any case based on flawed zoological studies and veer often into creepy associations with eugenics and even the incel movement. They cannot translate into the modern social contract where all human beings are born equal with shared rights and responsibilities.
(3) It is up to the couple to set the power dynamic that suits them; you subsequently take cues from this and operate within this. Any power you have is given to you temporarily, no matter how elaborate the scenario, and can be taken back at any moment.
(4) Your boundaries matter as much the couples. Never feel pressured to enter into any sort of play you are not comfortable with, nor should you ever press them into unfamiliar territory. Bicuriousity and heteroflexibility is common in many cuckolding setups—if this does not appeal to you, state this clearly without being bigoted.
(5) Everyone’s safety is tantamount. In this day and age, no play should engage without full STD screening and a frank discussion about contraception. In my view, the right to go raw has to be earned especially if you are not exclusive. Safewords are essential and should be established at the outset. Not respecting a safeword — or threatening to not heed it — amounts to violation and assault.
(6) Always meet a new couple beforehand in a public place, for a relaxed meet and greet session, for everyone’s safety. You should have as many non-sexual meetups as befits everyone feeling comfy before proceeding to any play. You should always be well-presented, gentlemanly, and strive to be as articulate as possible
(7) It’s a learning curve for everybody and peoples’ needs change, including yours. Always strive to improve yourself and learn what you and the couple find enjoyable. Cuckolds often morph into stags and vice versa and may switch between roles as everyone becomes comfortable with each other. Check in frequently outside of your play and see if everyone is happy with how things are.
(8) Domination does not equal humiliation, nor is humiliation an essential aspect of cuckoldry regardless how many find it fun. Not all bulls are doms and not all doms are bulls, and that is fine. You merely need to be assertive and fun to be with—don’t overthink it.
(9) Respect, a sense of fun, stamina, clear boundaries and playing to your strengths equate to success in the long term far more than a big dick and muscles. Some of the most successful bull colleagues I’ve known have been pretty average in the size department, besides, actual measurements are secondary if it feels good. Beware the couple who regard you merely as a life-support system for a dick. You are a human being with nuances.
(10) A couple’s first time is an incredible roller-coaster of feelings and experiences. Start as neutral as possible and do not deviate from what has been discussed. I don’t ramp anything up on the first meet-up; I just make sure everyone (including myself) is having fun. The same holds for you when you are starting out—be honest about this, most couples find it endearing and if they are experienced you can learn a lot. Performance anxiety and stage fright is real thing and can happen to anyone. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens—reset, regroup, try to laugh about it, and try again when you feel ready.
(11) Fantasies may be hot in theory but terrifying in reality. Set a neutral baseline first—this is essential with a couple who are just starting out. Humiliation/denial / caging / submission do not belong with your first appearance in play if they have never been tried out before. Your arrival is enormous enough for them to process. Start low, go slow.
(12) Feelings do happen and if emotional lines get blurred this needs to be frankly and sensitively discussed with all parties.
TLDR: Be a bull, not a bully. Have fun with your dick, but don’t be a dick.
Ultimately, if you have had fun and also brought the couple closer together as a result of the pleasure you provide, you've done your job perfectly.
And so endeth the lesson.
