Ratshoes
NEET
- Aug 30, 2021
- 3
I just needed to get it off my chest, I've lied to myself and others for too long that it's beginning to eat at me to my very core. I have worked jobs in the past but menial meaningless warehouse jobs. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and have a chip on my shoulder from all my years of trying to appeal to women, and then when I finally do manage to have some sort of spark it all happens too late. I'm trying to play a game of catch-up that's not sustainable. The current girlfriend I have now thinks I am 21 because I've lied to her and she thinks that I work a job, and that I also graduated the college she attends.
Where should I go from here? Should I just bite the bullet and finish the last 2 years of college? I've failed in every way imaginable; seeing me fall further and further behind from my own age demographic. Heck I don't even know how to fraternize with people my own age. A life of perpetual failure and it's all my fault. 2 coding bootcamps done and nothing to show for it; I could code pretty decently I think but I never took the plunge and applied for jobs at all. Its almost as if I'm afraid of living life because I'm not rich. I don't even know who I am as a person, that's the extent to which I've lied to myself to protect myself from the horrible truth. Part of me just wants to disappear and start over again.
Anyone experience something similar?
Where should I go from here? Should I just bite the bullet and finish the last 2 years of college? I've failed in every way imaginable; seeing me fall further and further behind from my own age demographic. Heck I don't even know how to fraternize with people my own age. A life of perpetual failure and it's all my fault. 2 coding bootcamps done and nothing to show for it; I could code pretty decently I think but I never took the plunge and applied for jobs at all. Its almost as if I'm afraid of living life because I'm not rich. I don't even know who I am as a person, that's the extent to which I've lied to myself to protect myself from the horrible truth. Part of me just wants to disappear and start over again.
Anyone experience something similar?